Friday, June 8, 2007

Maid madness and mommying my monkey

Ack. Back to feeling cranky at the maids for existing in my space. It was just one of those mornings when I needed to fit in a ahem, loud, trip to the bathroom between serving the guests coffees and fruit course and of course the maid was dusting books in the room right off the nearest bathroom. Yeah yeah, I'm sure if she hadn't dusted them I would have totally flipped right? That, and the word from our hiring friend is that the first two that she talked to both claimed to want only part time work. One of them said she had another job in the afternoons and could fit another one in. Well, maybe she does but it sounds a little fishy to me since every other week her hours here are in the afternoons already. I should be relieved that they aren't in a panic about the prospect of losing their full-time jobs here, I wish I was so cavalier! And, if none of them can be bothered to get flexible for a new position then I guess I can get my panties out of a twist worrying about having to downsize them. But honestly, it just makes me cranky.

In some good news, and as part of my new conscious quest for all-honesty-all-the-time, I sat down with dd to explain more fully that her art teacher is also a therapist and that it isn't really just for fun and artsyness that dd is seeing her every week. I explained that when we experience sad and bad things most of us don't really know how to deal with those feelings. We're not generally encouraged to act on them and we want people to think we are happy and nice and chirpy, so the bad stuff gets bottled up inside where eventually it starts to make us feel sick (her tummy aches and headaches for example). I told her that her therapist is trained to know how to pull out those nasty bad feelings so that our bodies and minds can feel good and get on with life without them. I said it was like a splinter making us hurt. I also told her that dh and I have been talking to a therapist too and that we both feel a lot better than we have in a long long time. She listened carefully and said that when we talk about the new baby she does feel sad and scared because she's afraid something bad is going to happen again. But she seemed to feel a lot calmer than usual when she mentioned it. I told her that since she is just a little kid it isn't her responsibility to make big decisions or to worry about the future. I told her that she was not responsible for anything that happens to other people and that all she is supposed to do is let me and Daddy take care of her and promised her we'd always do what is best for our family. I guess I either talked too much or told her what she wanted to hear because after that she fell right to sleep without another peep.


Wendy said...

Wow, so many things for such a little girl to handle.

If this sounds like a bad fit for your family then ignore: We talk to DD a lot about resonsibilities and worries. We try hard to tell her that she has responsibilities to herself (like use the bathroom and wipe) as well as responsibilities to be kind to others. We acknowledge that she has worries and she's allowed to have them. But, we try to emphasize that the "biggies" are for the adults to take care of, and as she grows older she'll slowly take on more responsibilities. I'm not being very clear, so take that with a grain of "I can't breathe right now" salt.