Monday, August 27, 2007

Dingo rosary

Here are some of the beads that my dear dingo friends have sent me to wear during labor. Please claim your beads so I know who to think of for each one!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Bootie Cuteness!

Here is the Bunny with the cute cute booties that MonikitaUT made for baby. Holy sweetness Batman! Thank you M!

Monday, August 20, 2007

I have a First Grader!

Holy cow! It's official, the Bunny is a first grader today. After our weekend of biting our nails she breezed right in today when we arrived. The nice teacher who had given her her entrance exam greeted her with a big hug and pointed out her classroom where we found the Bunny's best friend hanging out looking shy. On our way to the room I saw the headmaster who gave me a friendly nod but didn't say anything and when she got in to meet her teacher she was given her name tag so we snapped some quick pictures and hightailed it out of there with the Bunny looking happy as a first grader can look.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

My last breakfast, served!

That's it! The guests are here for one last night but they're all paid up and leaving too early for breakfast tomorrow so I'm calling it official, we are closed!!!!
The website's new look!


The Bunny Rides Part 2

Here's a quick vid of the Bunny riding Campera at a canter!!!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Um, homeschooling? What?

So today's drama was the news that the Bunny doesn't have the one official state sanctioned document that will allow her to enroll in first grade at the school for which we have paid tuition, bought books and a uniform (or in any other school for that matter).
Since she will not be 6 on September 1 she may not be allowed to enroll. We will hear on Sunday whether they can make an exception if she enrolls as a foreigner and not as a mexicana.

Her old school is "holding her place" for their pre-first program but frankly I'm sick of them. They would scold her for doing a week's worth of homework on Monday night. Um, couldn't we just call it good time management skills and/or give her extra work since the cut-and-paste-things-that-start-with-the-letter-'r' is obviously not challenging enough? No. No, I can't imagine sending her back for more stunting. So that leaves homeschooling! Yikes. To my utter shock when I told her that it might happen (since school starts on Monday) she didn't respond with dismay as I'd expected. She said she'd like it! Hmmm. I really think she'd miss the time with other kids but maybe there would be enough extracurricular things for her to do that we could fill that gap.

We certainly have enough books we bought for the new school to keep her busy for a few months and it would be nice to have a flexible schedule. Also, the plan was always that she'd end up repeating first grade since she won't be old enough to start second grade in the States next year.

Yeah, I guess I could be down with homeschooling. But I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that they can make an exception for my little gringa.

Belly Shot 35 weeks and Runningmommy Socks!

Cute cute little baby socks handknitted by Runningmommy!!! Thank you L! :)

A big blurry baby belly at 35 weeks + 5 days.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I want a tiger Patronus

As we should have realized it would, life is accelerating out of control in these final weeks. As are my emotional swings.

Two nights ago I had a fresh new panic attack over feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility to be calm, cool and collected while making the final decision about inducing baby early. I do not trust myself to have any intuition one way or the other. I had no idea Wendy was in trouble until I saw her emerge in the tub.
I also have no faith that a hospital is a safe place for a baby to be born. Last week I presented my OB with my birth plan. To her credit she read it through and took me seriously. To my dismay she then started explaining why she couldn't promise to accommodate my desires. She explained that I wouldn't be able to choose the most comfortable position for delivery because only when I'm on my back does she have a good view of things. She said she couldn't promise that I wouldn't be shaved because that is necessary to keep the area clean. Then the scariest blow to my hopes, the baby would need to be taken to the nursery for 2-3 hours after birth (oh, they'd "show" her to me first) for observation. At that I must have gone deathly pale because she told me about the one pediatrician that might be willing to observe the baby while I hold on to her. We have since met him, it turns out he was the Dr that came to declare Wendy dead, and he seems like a truly sweet nice guy. He didn't quite promise that baby could stay with me for the duration of my time in the hospital but he was reassuring that he prefers to do things more naturally. He had also been prepped by my OB to expect us and he gave us his cell number and told us to call when I'm in labor and he'll be sure to come be there when baby arrives. I plan to go to the hospital with plenty of cash for when I need to provide more motivation than simply solid research to back up my crazy wishes!

I am trying to find faith that this Dr and my OB will truly do everything they can to help keep baby safe before and after birth. I am trying to stay positive. I am trying to visualize nothing but happy safe scenarios. I am not succeeding 100% of the time.

I am trying to stop thinking of the risks associated with induction, the trouble breathing, the trouble nursing, the increased chance of a c-section. I am trying to focus on the end result. A sweet happy healthy baby safe in my arms. I cannot believe how hard that is. I feel like such an incredible failure. I feel like Harry Potter being probed by a dementor. I can't block the worst thoughts from surfacing. Actually that is a pretty spot-on analogy. I need a wand, a bogart and a pile of chocolate so I can learn my Expecto Patronum charm.

So that's the internal turmoil happening. The external business, it doesn't quite qualify for chaos, yet, is a pileup of business, school, last days of summer camp, real estate deals and pre-natal organizing.

We are in the final three days of B&B life. I can't wait for Sunday. We are just so ready.

We have made the decision to stay in town and send the Bunny to a school which has been siphoning off all the kids with attentive parents from her old Monessori school. On Monday she passed her entrance exam by somehow demonstrating enough pluck and intelligence to compensate for her mistakes on letter and number recognition and an unusual display of dyslexia. Yesterday we bought her uniform, a standard blue and green plaid jumper, white knee socks, with polo shirt. She was brimming with pride. So grown up! She looked like someone who has stepped over a threshold into a whole new epoch. It was happy and sad and beautiful and frightening all at once.

Today and tomorrow she gets some make-up days at horse camp. She loves it and she's rightfully proud of her accomplishments there. Today I found myself wondering, now what? I don't want her to have to completely give up this new love, this new skill for which she so clearly has a natural talent. But it's expensive and a little scary too. For now we have enough on our plates that I don't feel compelled to come up with an answer, but the question will still be there when I'm ready.

And, as everyone knows, in real estate timing is everything. And so, at long last, a property we bought with friends to improve and flip and which has been in process for almost two years is finally at the point where we (read Dh) are supposed to get the infrastructure improved . We already have buyers waiting to give us money and though we aren't desperate for it yet our partners are so we can't stall on getting water and power lines run and roads fixed so that the deal can proceed to the selling part. It just figures that all of these things need to be supervised organized and completed in these two weeks left in the run up to September 1!

We are also within a breath of an agreement to sell the Bluff property. This afternoon we faxed off counteroffer #8, our final offer which we are fairly confident the buyers will accept. However, since we've got that freaking shed full of crap out there we'll still have to hammer out an agreement about when we need to drag our asses to Bluff to sort through the stuff we (and my brother) couldn't bear to part with way back when. Of all people, my mom seems to have the best idea of what is in the shed. She helped move a lot of stuff out of my brother's house when he sold it. I'm not ashamed to say my blood ran cold when she said, "Oh yes! Those lovely green and gold dishes we always used for company are there." I don't want those dishes!!! They can't be washed in a dishwasher and they screech like nails across a blackboard when you cut anything. But I've got them! Somehow they ended up in my shed in the middle of the freaking desert!

And lastly, speaking of my brother, he left a nearly inaudible message on my machine last night. All I could hear was that it was him. We haven't spoken since February when he had basically said we had it coming with Wendy since we made so many irresponsible decisions. Then he topped that off with attacks on dh. He did apologize but quickly threw cold water all over that by telling my dad that he was still mad at me (!). So now he's called. Okay bro, I'm freaking out about shit that has nothing to do with you, I don't think I have the space for anything more. I am hopeful enough to assume that he was calling to try mend the fence but if I'm wrong I'm not sure I can withstand that. So what to do? That's the question of the day. And I'll leave it there. This post is sure long enough for me and the horse I rode in on!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Countdown is on!

Whew. 3 weeks and a few days before it's Baby Time!

And within that we've got one last week of full occupancy, we have to make a final decision about where Chiara should start the school year, we're up in the air about when and whether to bother moving to the country and today Nick is having big second thoughts about where to move too! Ijole!

We just gave Maru her two weeks' notice which was sad. We also told Lupe and Alicia to decide whether they prefer to split the remaining position or have one of them take their severance and try to find a new full-time job. I don't envy anyone. As irritated as I've been with them in the past few months, they each have been a part of this home and it's sad to get to the end of the road, regardless of how inevitable it's been. Maru asked if she could come and meet the new baby. Of course. Blah, this is the part that sucks.

Other than all that, dh and I have agreed to rewrite our wedding vows to celebrate our 9th anniversary this Wednesday. We haven't set aside time to do it yet but he did make sure to get a babysitter. That's a pretty big step, and I'm feeling very warm and squishy about it.

I also have to write down a birth plan in the probably vain hope that it might have some influence over how my hospital experience flows. At the very least I need a list of questions about what is normal operating procedure here. The trick is that I haven't got the hang of asking the questions in a completely neutral way. My bias is obvious by the very nature of the questions. I don't want to start off seeming combative but I certainly don't want to agree to things I could avoid just to be likable either.

At least I've been getting a bit of nesting accomplished. I'm suddenly full of ideas about things to cook and freeze and stock and prepare and I've been doing it too! And, so saying I feel like I'd better get going and start crossing some more things off of the list!