Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving and all that

Honestly right this minute I'm feeling a little less than festive. After trying to keep my mom and her fiance's issues at arms length and let them have their own Thanksgiving without interference it seems like their relationship has finally gone off the rails. I don't really want to know. I wish it were that easy. But as I laid awake in bed way too early this morning I found myself imagining my mom feeling totally crushed with disappointment that this latest in a series of doomed relationships has gone so bad. Why can't she find a nice, steady guy who doesn't pretend to be more than he is? Maybe because she's crazy and those guys don't appeal? Whatever the reason it's a bummer and this time I hope the economic fallout doesn't completely cripple her. So anyway, I got up to check the fares to visit her instead of going home this weekend. I don't know, it's too early to call her and see if she needs me at all and if so if she would welcome a visit this weekend or if she can wait another week or so.
So there's that. And then I also feel like there must be something I could do to wake my brother up to the fact that he's missing out on a relationship for himself and his family that could be really nice. I don't know when the last time he and my dad were speaking but it's been a while. And it just makes me feel sad, for my dad and for my brother. But I just don't know what the magic words are and I'm not even sure that I'm back on solid enough footing with my brother to make them stick if I can even figure out what they are.
So it's a modern holiday season right? Complete with family crises, odd step relatives and non-communication as well as the usual task of keeping Santa alive and arranging for cards, cookies and gifts to as many friends and relatives as humanly (and financially) possible.

But, enough angst, I'm on vacation and it's been a nice one. We've had just enough time to reconnect with some old friends in St. Louis and I had a great time meeting a dingo here in Wisconsin. We've known each other for a couple years now and I've been following her blog for about that long and finding her life and her balancing of family, work and farming fascinating and inspiring. Actually getting the real live tour of the barn, meeting the sheep, the emu, the chickens, patting Pumpkin Pie, checking out the somewhat creepy borrowed ram, that alone was well worth the drive through Wisconsin farmland. But the real treat was the instant comfy friendiness of meeting my friend in person for the first time. The whole encounter was just so enjoyable and so lacking any weird awkwardness that you might expect in a first-date type of situation. It can be hard and nearly embarrassing trying to describe the dingos to non-dingos but I am so grateful for my friends there and the quiet space of the dingo cafe in which we are able to have conversation about anything and everything without interruptions from children, spouses or anything else.

And for that, my awesome kids, my sweet smart husband, our happy home and stable extended family I am very grateful this Thanksgiving.