Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Digging the hole deeper

So last night I was wondering what the feminine equivalent of "emasculated" is. I think that is how I feel at any rate. I don't feel like my home is my own. For a large part it isn't since it is a B&B (thus the maids). Recently, in a stab at reclaiming some privacy and independence we have reconverted half of the house into a private area, taking over a couple of guest rooms in order to have more space to live unbothered by guests.
The plan was a good one.

The only catch, I realize now, is that as we cut down on the parade of strangers coming and going, we created holes in the maids daily routines. With six rooms to deal with and a steady stream of changeovers they each had maybe 20-30 minutes each to take their break. With four rooms, sparsely populated, they've each got an hour or more. They wouldn't take their break time in 'public' areas any more than I would so instead they monopolize my kitchen or my front hall where they can sip their coffees and chat in peace. It's fine for them but it may be the thing that has driven my to the brink. If they are hanging out in the kitchen I don't feel comfortable going in and hanging out there myself. I don't really want to chat, I just want to sit there, peruse a cookbook, get dinner started early or maybe pull out the sewing machine and get creative. But I can't. Not if my presence causes everyone else's hackles to rise. These women work hard, they deserve their break times. I do appreciate them. The B&B would have been a major pain in the ass without them keeping the place in shape. But our effort to create more privacy for ourselves has backfired. Now the question is, when do we tell them that we no longer need three? Who gets the boot? I hate having to ask them to do a chore that has been overlooked. Telling them that one of them no longer has a job is excruciating just to imagine. And yet, I want more privacy right? And, with a diminished income paying for more help than we need or want isn't sensible either. But still. Argh.

On a related note I did my Myers-Briggs personality test for the first time in my life last week. I'm not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't what I got. I guess I would have assumed that I would come up as some artsy, leader type. Nope! I'm Suzy Homemaker!

Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel. Strive to create an orderly and harmonious environment at work and at home.
This bit seems particularly appropriate in light of my frustration with the maids, "ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles." However, this line, ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." gives me the chills!

So, are you curious now? Want to know what your Myers-Briggs label is? Here's a link then and good luck!