Thursday, November 15, 2007


So last Sunday we finally kicked off our all new weekly Family Virtues Meeting. We aren't as church-going as some families but it has begun to feel like there's a real hole there for us so this is our new thing. To kick things off and with my musings at the circus heavy on my mind the virtue we started off with was Thankfulness.
The Bunny loved it. She thrives on having the opportunity to talk about serious things with grown-ups and loves to be asked for her opinion. It was lovely.
We talked about how thankfulness is important because it helps us appreciate even the worst times. I talked a bit about how I am thankful for Wendy, even though her brief time with us was very sad and painful, she also brought us some precious gifts.
Building on that the Bunny talked about why she is thankful that she had her fish, even though they died. Who would ever have thought that a couple of goldfish could leave such a lasting impression? But she's such a sweet smart little kid and she just really gets it. I was reminded the other day of how when she was an infant she had a certain sense about her that she had been here, done this all already. A real old soul. Over the past couple of years of princesses and movies and playdates I'd lost sight of that about her. But it's still true. She's got a deep spiritual side and an understanding, an awareness that awes me.
A few months back she was seeing an art therapist to help her process her feelings about Wendy, Thurber, moving, the new baby on the way etc and the therapist (without consulting me in advance to check on our family's approach to God, I might add) told her they were going to make a "God Box" in which she could put all her worries and God would take care of it for her. The Bunny said, "I'm going to make mine for money instead" and she proceeded to decorate her box happily but refused to discuss the whole God part of it any further. Afterwards she seemed really upset. I asked her what was going on. She said that she didn't think that God (who, in the Bunny's mind is and always has been a woman) would have the time to deal with her problems. I tried to reassure her that God has the capacity to handle anything we throw at her, and with kindness and grace too. Then the Bunny said, "I don't know how to believe in God." Fair enough, most adults aren't totally clear on that one either are they? And considering that she was being asked on one hand to trust God with her troubles and on the other she'd been reassured by well-meaning but idiotic people that though her baby sister was dead, it was all part of God's plan, who wouldn't have trouble with that? Is God on her side or not? So anyway, all this to get back to our study of thankfulness and how something that seems really horrible can actually be a blessing and how I'm hoping that she and I and dh too can all find a comfortable place with God.
And of course, I hope that it will also make that wee little voice in her head a little louder about being thankful for what she has in the moment at the circus and to stop to savor it longer before focusing on the next thing she wants.