19 days old!

At last I think, I hope, I truly believe that the drama is behind us.

Little A has been gaining weight nicely, is finally a natural normal baby color, has that sweet new baby smell and yesterday for the first time she seemed to really be on. She was awake much longer than ever before and she was clearly checking everything out, not in that dazed bleary way but really focused on things. And she was smiling in response to silly things dh and I would do. There's nothing better than that, that first moment where the connection is clearly going two ways. My heart just melts away completely. Up until yesterday I was in love but my feelings were so clogged with concern for her health and safety and she had been so sleepy and dazed it hadn't hit me with the full force. But now, she looks right into my eyes and gives me that incredible little toothless smile and wow.

I'm just plain head over heels.